63 Days & Counting

my future rides the night wind 

ruffles curtains, caresses skin 

whispers promises at the edge of dream 

leaving traces of something almost seen 

 

I wrote this poem, long before this journey began in earnest.  I knew then, that I wasn't following full time, my bliss.  Pulled in so many directions by an exceptional (modern terminology for lots of problems) child.  It was necessary to have the best job with great insurance and live in the best neighborhood with the best schools with special education programs.  After that, a husband with cancer...I won't belabor the point - I'm sure you get it and I'm not the only one that works the 8-5 and then some to provide for family.

 

Well those days are long gone and I somehow stayed in that rut. 

No more.  It is so time to move on. 

I planned this once before (the poem above was written in 2007), but somehow I got sidetracked - not this time.  I'm exploring the dreams that still whisper in my ear, and giving them form, so it is no longer ephemeral.  I'm making 'real' plan for the real change that once 'rode the night wind'.

 

I'm ready to dust off a few dreams

dreams ride the wind through
windows I’ve thrown wide open
no pillow needed


I feel that time is running out and it's now or never to dust off a few dreams and follow them.

So, I turned in my notice today.  I'm retiring from the day job come  March 30.

I only go in 4 days a week, but it's a stressful 4 days for me now.  Maybe it's age, but I think it's more than that.  I feel caged in - It's like spring fever, but for a whole year now

Whatever the reason, it's the job not my coworkers.  They're good, sweet, ethical, hardworking folks.  It is I.  I have to move on for me and for no other reason.

My entitlement (and I am entitled to it) is more than enough to cover monthly bills. My income from all my sidelines will be gravy.

I used to sell my art regularly.  Having lost everything in the fire, though, I've had to buy supplies and start from scratch.  I've started on a series of colored pieces for now in various media.  I'll need at least 3 or 4 to pitch to galleries and a least a dozen to hang a show.

I'm working at various income streams. Beyond the e-books, the first of which will launch end of this month, there's my painting and freelance work.

 

Recalling ‘dolce far niente’

monday and I have
no special place to be
such a free feeling
I want more like days
where the only one I must
consider is me

Notes:
Selfish?  Yes, but I’ve worked all my life since I was 17.  I raised an exceptional child til I could not, a husband with cancer, a failed business with a friend – no longer friend, and the list goes on.

Laid off in 2007 when Saks corporate went back to NYC, gave me a 2 year taste of ‘dolce far niente’ (how sweet to do nothing).

I didn’t do 100% nothing.  I did what I wanted, when I wanted:  Walked the neighborhood every day; wrote and published stories, essays, book reviews; painted and hung 3 art exhibits; etc., etc., etc…

I will be revisiting those days by retiring one way or another  in 2013 by or before March 20, 2013. Spring equinox, the first day of Spring – Rebirth of earth and rebirth of me.